.i’m on my way to the future.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

we hire not fire.

“People said, it is easier to hire than fire.”

Tarikh: 30/8/2013
Gred Pekerja: TRAINEE
Perkara: Surat pengesahan keluar syarikat untuk berjumpa advisor.

Olla ! just ignore my annoying heading for this entry. hehe so, this is gonna be all about my internship stories. well, lots of thing I’ve learned here since I’ve joined this company as a trainee almost a month.(becoz i wrote this entry few week earlier). No words can exactly describe the feeling when u has turned into someone else with different title as before in a blink of an eye.

I was back then always dreaming and imagine to have my own table in an office, doing all the office job that I found interesting, just the same as it was in television. When I was a kid, I used to play “office” game with my siblings and we use books and files as our laptop. My parents once bought toy telephone which enables us to contact to each other. so, we pretend that we had lots of client calls and some of us pretend to be the clients and we made a meeting. When thinking it back, gosh we had so much FUN and it was really FUNNY.

At the first place, I was a bit nervous because we never knew what is waiting for us. As for me it is a bit though to blend with the multi cultures that have in this company, multi races as well. Since I was the Uitm’s student, which everyone should knew it was an institution for Malays and Bumiputera ONLY. I might say it’s kind of culture shock for me due to the different culture and language as well as the communication that I need to get use with it here.

2.       Luckily I was graduated from Convent High School, so I have lots of friends from other races. more or less I still can able to communicate well with them. The Managing Director and Executive Director, which is my boss was a Chinese, my lovely supervisor, whom hold the HR position was an Indian and other position which are Q.A, Accountant and Admin were all conquered by Chinese as well. I’m so lucky as in the Laboratory for the sample testing were all Malays and they are woman.

3.       For the first few days and week, I was quite unwell so mostly I’ll just keep quiet and do my own things, if and only there is something I need to ask, I will literally talk. but for the simple or personal matters, I dunno what to say, it’s a bit slouchy for me and all the staff here might thought I was snobbish and did not wanted to get along with them. I dunno, maybe I was a bit shy. And every time they asked me to go somewhere with them, for example out for lunch, I will definitely say no. or I’ll just ordered from them.

Day by day, all I learned was a new thing. It is ok for me if other staff would said something bad about me behind my back. Coz, I am in the process of learning, everything might happen, we never knew. As I was in my position of HR, I would said, it is soooo complicated being one. Imagine that you need to face different kind of problems and issues that arise like every day. Again, EVERYDAY. no wonder you might had a massive head ache due to this.

4.       Besides, among others the most important thing to focus on is whereby the welfare of all employees was protected and there should not be left behind. all I can see the manager must always and always ensure that all the employees follow the rules and regulation that set up by the company. thus, an effective communication with the supervisor from all department is a must to ensure all employees were guided all the way they were working for the company.

5.       A company are not eligible simply to fire their employee. no matter general worker or contracted worker, this is because, the employee has the right to fight or claim their eligibility on the reason they’re being terminated. that is why people said hiring is easier than firing. until now, what can I conclude from my view is that you can’t be too choosy in getting what you really want. people once said “if you don’t get what you like, like what you’ve got” . from that I could at least get rid of those negative ion and keep on accept the truth that I need to do it. I need to endure all this for future. At least for another few months.

Ask everyone, the answer would be just the same. “did you happy working in your workplace?” nayy or yayy? well, you have the answer. 

All the best to you guys too and don’t forget to pray for me! Bye J

'anak sulung'

Heyy all eldest child out there, you guys are rocks ! awesomenesss overloads I tell yahh :D

The story began when…..

One day, I was lying on my bed while enjoyed seeing my old photo album.i just found that album while cleaning and tidying my room. Most of the pictures were taken during my secondary school. I would say, it was the memories of my hostel life. Hehehe well I put a caption for each pictures so that I could easily recalled what is the story behind those pictures. Then there was one picture, me and my two best friends at Gua Tempurung, the caption was ‘with the Alongs’. Then I realized oh this caption was made because both of my friends were the eldest daughter in their family. then I continue looking at other picture with my mind keep recalling who else of my friends was the eldest daughter in their family.

Then I closed the album, get up from bed, went to my table and started looking for a pen and a piece of paper. ‘anak sulung’ was wrote in that paper. One by one name I wrote, starting from my childhood, secondary school, primary school, foundation and degree’s friends. then I stop writing becoz I can’t remembered any. Then I made the numbering for the list. It ends up with total of 25 persons of them all. I was quite surprised and can’t even imagine that I had a lot of my close friends that was a eldest son and daughter in their family. and the most surprisingly, they were the persons that I talk to and contact the most. during my foundation course for semester one and two. I was stayed at one apartment. there were about 13 of us in it. And 7 were the eldest daughter, which means it is almost half of us. This is such a beautiful and quite funny coincident I guess. and I am sure there must be more than this that I can think of. definitely.

So to make it clear, I try to listing down the name of my friend.

1)    Iffah nabilah
2)   Izwanny ridzwan
3)   Siti Aishah
4)   Ain Rafidah
5)   Nur Salwa
6)   Ainshamimi
7)   Niena Raymie
8)   Atikah kamari
9)   Hidayah azhar
10)Fatin izyan
11) Atikah yusni
13)Intan raihana
17)Siti nur Fatimah
18)Fatimah ahmad sawab
19)Izzati Elina
20)        Nazira S Raini
21)Nina Azamira
22)        Hafiz
23)        Bani
24)        Pakdin
25)        MZ

As I said before, I must miss some of my other eldest friends. This is all I manage recalled. Hehe

So, looks like I love being friend with eldest child huh ? my roommate, at hostel for first semester in degree was all eldest child. My roommate and housemate in degree were also mostly eldest child.

So maybe my future husband also would be the eldest son becoz he is already on the list. Bhahaha not funny? kbye.

Till then, assalamualaikum :)

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

dream #2


Again, this is the dream I had on the next day after the previous dream collection. This time, the dream was so real and I barely can feel every moment seems so real. All the heart ache and sadness I’d felt in that dream, I still can feel it after I woke in the morning.  

I open my eyes, and I was at the unfamiliar places. It was like a camp but we stayed at hostel. As what I remembered, there are a lots of my friends, which I knew from my school, foundation program and also from my recent degree program. We stayed at uitm but I can’t recall which uitm’s hostel we were at. I can’t clearly remember I spend time, chatting with my beloved adopted sisters and my friends. It was very enjoyable and I had a great feeling to have the opportunity to see their face and talk to them again. Yes, that’s what I felt at that moment. I haven’t seen them for ages I am so missing them.

Then, I’ve reached to the scene where we are about to check out from the hostel, unfortunately someone just claimed that the hostel was on fire. and as what I remembered it has quite large number of floor in that building and we were stayed at the most top of it. Then I can see the chaos and havoc situation where by everyone were trying to save their life. I can only see people running up and down the stair from the place I stand (nearby the stair). I can’t barely see the fire or smoke at all. But the people who just coming down end up looking very messy with wet clothes and black stripe as it was causes by the smoke. Then they I heard they claimed the fire was already extinguished but it end up took few lives. I was very shocked and started to help them to bring down the persons who died., there are few of them. That eagerly feeling to know who the person was, somehow make me very sad, because all in all I must recognize them because well, it’s a camp and I must know everyone even they don’t know about me.

Then, I heard one of the victims was my bestfriend. Yes, the one who always stay beside me like all the time. the worst feeling when I just met her last week, suddenly she is gone. But I’m not going to tell who she is. I was very shocked and terrible sad until I cried hardly but without any sobbing sound. I can felt my heart was very pain to hear that news. Then the moment I saw her dead body, I feel like don’t wanna see it. Her dead body was full with the dust, dirt and blood. I cry hardly but my heart aches much more painful than that.

Few moments later, I end up at the place of the scene that already cleaned up. It is about few weeks after. I went there with one of my classmate and I dunno why since then while seeing the place, I feel terribly sad. I can’t accept the truth that one of my beloved persons has gone. All the things that we’ve planned to do and place to go together suddenly came in mind. I feel bad for not fulfilling them.

During taking my bath, I was thinking, what actually the message from this dream. And I shouted hardly inside my heart “IT WAS JUST A DREAM, THANK GOD!!”

every happiness should also has the sadness, balance them”
“do not be too excited on something, who know it might end up with the most unexciting things happened”

till then, assalamualaikum...

Monday, October 7, 2013

dream #1

"Everyone Will Die."

Dream is the moment when the most important scene (climax) that we still remember evens us woke up the next morning.
The story begins..stay !

One day I woke up with a shocked and relieved feelings I’ve ever felt. I was at an anonymous house with few people that was terrifying scared face. I felt very weird because most of us were hiding behind the wall of the room. I can heard the noisy sound of screaming, shouting and else comes from everywhere. At first, I can’t blend what actually happens, until I heard a shooting and bombing sounds from the outside of the room. I realized oh my gosh, this is a war! Yes. my every confusion was answered immediately as suddenly there is someone who wear an unfamiliar dusty army uniform with a quite long rifle on arms, step into the room where we were at. The next few second, his friend also came in. they pointed their rifle to every one of us and ask few questions. At some point I was lifeless and there is a strong feeling came saying that I wanted to get out from that room so desperately! But, then I realized, I can’t.. they already found us. Now our lives are all in their hands. As I was the only lady inside that room, they asked me few questions but unfortunately I can’t recalled what it was. it seems like their targets is only girls, I was totally terrified until I can’t breathe properly.

The most memorizing moment when the rifle was placed right in front of my face and the man said that they wanted me dead. At that moment, I did not cry but had the most terrifying feeling that I can’t even imagine. I keep begging on him not to shoot me and at that time, I only remembered of Allah and my mom. I keep imagining what will be happened in future? All my sins I’ve done, did all my 'pahala' will save me from the hell’s fire to touch my skin? It all came at the same time. My heart keep on beating very fast, I really wanted it to end up quickly. i closed my eyes, and waiting for the shooting sound while still begging on him and shook my head for him to stop his action, my mouth keep saying the ‘kalimah syahadah’ as I might be died any second. The man yelled at me with the language that I can’t catch it, maybe because of the horrible feeling I had at that moment.

As I open my eyes, to see his face, one of his friend who stayed in front the door waiting for him since then, yelled at him and asked him to let me go. I can heard some noisy voice came from his walkie-talkie. They seem like need to back up their friends somewhere else thus they went off from that room immediately. That was the relieved feeling ever once you can finally breathe again from the emerge situation like that. I am very grateful and thankful to Allah for staying me alive. As soon as they gone, I quickly get close with the other persons in that house and they also felt relieved as I wasn’t shoot by them. All I can see is the smiling and that’s it, I looked around and i heard a nice melody and finally I found out it was my alarm clock. Again, thank god, it was only a DREAM.

While bathing, I kept thinking what is the sign of all this. People said, dream is only an imagination during sleep. But some also said it was a message towards the dreamer. As for me, what I can said, usually dream are opposite with the real life. For example if we dreamt of someone’s died, that’s means the person might have longer ages. Well, I am totally not sure because myth and truth are so hard to be trusted, haha one more thing, usually the person that came into our dream at night is the person whom we thinking of before sleep.this one, maybe right, most of the time, I’ve experience it. hehee

 I don’t know why, my mother’s face was the only person came into my mind, I thought maybe because I had loads of sins to her, well you know I am the most stubborn daughter among other siblings and I love to talk back to my mom. Now I feel bad and promise to self to always talk nicely to her, and also everyone else.

Moral of the story, we should never forget DEATH. Death is true and everyone will die, one day, which we will never know when and how. For me, maybe it was a sign from Allah to ensure I did not careless to perform my prayers. So people, always remind yourself of death and perform your prayers early.ok?

Apparently, all of the cast in this dream were Malays, and that was the most shocking facts. What is happening Malaysia? Keep peace. Till then, as-salam :) 

Saturday, October 5, 2013

new me? maybe..

Hey mr. blog…I haven’t been here for ages I guess. Here’s a short summary about my recent life. well, I am not studying (attend any class) anymore because I was now ‘working’ (internship program) in one of my favourite premises nearby my house. It was an awesome feeling to be experience such new experience and meeting new peoples as well. I guess I can blend with the environment quite well as I had an experience working before, it is just the situation and position is totally not the same. Seriously, working life will never be the same as student life. You might one time realize oh gosh, I miss studying. But I guess that moment hasn’t realized me yet. Maybe because I still did not feel the true colour of working life all the pressure, load of works, conflicts and so on. hey, I was just a trainee, what do you expect, right? Haha

I am still doing my thesis while working, this is really stressful because it wasn’t that simple that you might think. Lots of information and reading all those articles that you need to come out with as long as it was related to your subject matter. I pray every day that everything will be just fine and Allah will smooth my journey to end this degree course with a flying colour result. Insyaallah, amiin.

my family? (even you did not asked). They’re doing well. Now I had 3 lil cute nieces and 2 handsome nephew that I was always excited to meet them J  it seems like a routine every Friday to ask my sisters and brothers whether they will be back or not. Hurmm how about myself? For sure I was doing good and getting much ‘healthier’ day by day. (maknanya makin gemoklah) hahaha -_____-‘ seriously in most thing I’ve done, but this matter: I am give up. It was not because I never try, but it keeps failed until I can’t bear with it anymore. Sounds tough huh ? yes it was. You will never know it unless you’re in my shoes. believe me. HOWEVER, I was still very happy with myself and I believe that as long I did not disturbs other people’s life, so..who cares about the appearance rite ? 

talking about who cares, there was one young man, named S. Hafiz was trying to win my heart, but for me he will never success. I don’t know why,  it seems like I was never ready for another person to come into my life besides family and friends. As friend it’s okay he already be one but to be more than that, I wasn’t expect for anything more. please.maybe I was too overprotected as I did not want to get hurt again coz I really know how it feels, when people ruined your trust and broke their promises, just like that. It was really painful because it was a wound that you can never see the scars. So now I just believe in Allah. If the faith said, someone is there waiting for me in future, why should I let go right? Now, I just follow the flow.

what else did i miss? i'll stop here. till then, as-salam :)

same people different stories