.i’m on my way to the future.

Thursday, November 14, 2013



Today, as told by my SV, we will go to Sabak to sent one new Nepalese worker for his FOMEMA. this fomema is the overall medical examination to ensure that the foreign worker are good condition in health and able to work with the company. after all the examination was done, we have to wait another one week for the result through the net, then if the result is positive, we can continue sending the employment certification to the immigration office, stated that this company has employed a new Nepalese worker.

On our way to there, my sv has shared lots of things with me. she explained briefly about the process of employing new foreign worker. for me, it’s quite a complicated procedure. basically we spent almost two hours (including the journey) for the fomema to be completed. It’s quite boring while waiting for it. I watch the nurse and Nepalese doing the eye check up. we need to bring another senior Nepalese that can speak malay because new foreign worker usually were very weak in Malay language. surprisingly, they are very good in English. Yes ! their second language is English, just like us.

within an hour, all the check up was completed, on our way back, the senior Nepalese worker told that he just make the post election for his country’s general election. It all started when my SV asked him about the departure of two of his friends (our worker as well) that has already departure at Kathmandu last week. Unfortunately, he said that all public transports agency were having strike (picket) and they refuse to do their job. So, both of his friends still stranded in the hotel nearby the airport. He said that the buses will be out of order for two weeks because once any transport is moving on the road, they will burn it. It happened before and it getting worst since the climax of the general election is in another few weeks.

Alhamdulillah, Malaysia still in peace :)

*InsyaAllah next month, bring another worker for the incident report from the hospital. I’m nervous. haha

Till then, stay ! 

my very first interviewing !


Hai everyone ! actually, I had already wrote few stories to be published here, but unfortunately my pen drive was missing and I still can’t found it till today. So all my fancy stories (fancy?) also has gone like wind. so sad :/

So, today I had one experience to share with you all (even no one would ever read this).
At my workplace, (specifically internship training company) I was an assistant for the senior HR clerk. So, few days back, we had hung some job vacancy banners in front of the company. Then, job seekers from all over the place (even from KL or Sabak) started to try their luck.
We were basically seeking for a position of general worker, lorry driver (with license E) and boiler man grade 1 or 2. As I was the one who need to greet the job seekers, it was always a pleasure to ensure that the form was filled completely. Then my SV was in charge for the interview session. 

During the interview, I need to sit on my SV’s table because they’re using my temporary table J
so, I heard and saw the interview session. It was a new thing for me as it was unimagined procedure as I always thought. It was basically quite informal session, just like having a light chit chat with new comers. Few questions were asked and the production flows were told by my SV. As for me, all I saw is just a light conversation. But as the job seekers went, my SV told what was her impression and what can she saw from the person’s attitude and behaviour. I was impressed, in a blink of an eyes, she can decided whether that person can do the job or not. But of course through the questions asked as well. She was then started to compare the applicant with the previous job seekers that came to the office.

So, today. My Sv was not really feeling well. she had minor fever and cough. she received intercom call from the guard saying that someone were here for the job interview. Then, she asked me to do the same procedure as yesterday, weakly. I was shocked but then quite excited because I grab this opportunity to learn new things. Then, I started listing down the questions that told by my SV. Few minutes then, the applicant came. He was Malay, wearing informal suit and sit in front of me. I took his IC to make some copies while he was filling the application form. After that, he started asking me how to answer some confusing questions on the application form. Inside, I was actually nervous and quite afraid if I made mistakes.

So then, the interview session started. I had prepared earlier and wrote few questions on my note book. For me, it was just like a blind date, the introduction session begin *hyperbola*. so he worked with one of our client before as a driver. Unfortunately he did not fulfill our requirement for the lorry driver position because he only got GDL (license) whereby we need the driver that have license E. thus, he applied for the general worker position. As I recalled back what did my SV done yesterday during the interview, I did the same. I started explain to him the flow of the production site, working hours  and also about our products. He seems understand and eagerly wanted the job as soon as possible coz he seems not happy when I told him that we will decide in two days and we will call him later. so he went off. then my SV already decided. so it’s my job to call him to told him that news, later.

“the banners was so effective”-she said so because surprisingly they never use it before. since then, lots of job seekers enter our company to try their luck.

Yes, I was quite impressed too. because our factory located at the end of the small road, which means there is no other building after ours, so how people could notice the banners unless they pass by the company. plus, another QL’s factory which located in front also were seeking for general workers (they also hung the job vacancy banners).

Even though the interview was done informally, but it was very important to always be polite and treat them properly because we are not only the worker of the company but we bring the name of the company as well.so, this evening, one of the applicant that came earlier called. my SV answered it, then she said "wait a minute ya, nah someone want to talk with you" (she past me the phone). i was lil bit surprised and the weird feeling increased when i heard unusual male voice through the phone. i was eagerly wanted to know who was the caller.

"hello, is this miss Raihan?"
-yes, i am. may i help you sir?
"yes, i am H. the one that apply the job on Monday, when can i get the result ya?"
-oh. Mr H, wait ya. *quickly speak softly to my SV regarding to that matter* 
-ok Mr H. actually the supervisor in charge for your position was on leave today, so i'll call you tomorrow morning ok mr. 
"oh ok2. but if i get the job, when can i starts?"
-hurm we will let you know it tomorrow also..*i answered after i whispered to my sv.
"if i get the job, what should i bring?"
-that one also i will tell you through the phone later on. ok mr? thank you for calling.

then i hang up. seems like that man was eagerly seeking for a job. from his attitude and personality during the interview and so on (first impression), i can concluded that he really has that proper etiquette as an applicant. he knows what to do and how to response towards the management, most probably in the proper way. if i was the manager i would hire him, literally. then i got back to my seat. i laughed at my self, why am i so chaotic and the best part, i almost get my tongue tied (stuttered) when responding to him. hahaha funny.

later then, another person came (Indian man), he wanted to apply for a job. as usual, i took his IC and make some copies while he filled the form. my sv was in the other room at that time.so as he finished filled the form, i asked some basic questions to him. suddenly my sv came, so i handed over the interview session to her,but she said "go la interview him". i dunno why, my confidence level has decreased so I just said, "i already did  some" then i giggled. she just smile, she sit in front of the guy and start asking him questions. i went off the room and stayed at lab. few moments later i got back to my seat, the guy has gone. and i asked her, how? she said, "that guy had once worked with our HQ in 2009 but resigned." as i noticed, the guy left the box blank for 'did you ever works with *** sdn bhd' question in the form. then, my sv said, " i asked him again but he said never, so i took his ic number and i call hq to ensure it. i can see from his eyes, very something laa"

and again, i'm impressed. she really can feel it. i think if i am at her place i will believe him, literally. because from his ic, the address was at KL. and he said he move here to get married. so the percentage of he working nearby here was impossible. huhu and i started asked myself "what are you doing dear self? are you ready for all this? in future?" *huge sigh* 

till then, assalamualaikum :) 

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

we hire not fire.

“People said, it is easier to hire than fire.”

Tarikh: 30/8/2013
Gred Pekerja: TRAINEE
Perkara: Surat pengesahan keluar syarikat untuk berjumpa advisor.

Olla ! just ignore my annoying heading for this entry. hehe so, this is gonna be all about my internship stories. well, lots of thing I’ve learned here since I’ve joined this company as a trainee almost a month.(becoz i wrote this entry few week earlier). No words can exactly describe the feeling when u has turned into someone else with different title as before in a blink of an eye.

I was back then always dreaming and imagine to have my own table in an office, doing all the office job that I found interesting, just the same as it was in television. When I was a kid, I used to play “office” game with my siblings and we use books and files as our laptop. My parents once bought toy telephone which enables us to contact to each other. so, we pretend that we had lots of client calls and some of us pretend to be the clients and we made a meeting. When thinking it back, gosh we had so much FUN and it was really FUNNY.

At the first place, I was a bit nervous because we never knew what is waiting for us. As for me it is a bit though to blend with the multi cultures that have in this company, multi races as well. Since I was the Uitm’s student, which everyone should knew it was an institution for Malays and Bumiputera ONLY. I might say it’s kind of culture shock for me due to the different culture and language as well as the communication that I need to get use with it here.

2.       Luckily I was graduated from Convent High School, so I have lots of friends from other races. more or less I still can able to communicate well with them. The Managing Director and Executive Director, which is my boss was a Chinese, my lovely supervisor, whom hold the HR position was an Indian and other position which are Q.A, Accountant and Admin were all conquered by Chinese as well. I’m so lucky as in the Laboratory for the sample testing were all Malays and they are woman.

3.       For the first few days and week, I was quite unwell so mostly I’ll just keep quiet and do my own things, if and only there is something I need to ask, I will literally talk. but for the simple or personal matters, I dunno what to say, it’s a bit slouchy for me and all the staff here might thought I was snobbish and did not wanted to get along with them. I dunno, maybe I was a bit shy. And every time they asked me to go somewhere with them, for example out for lunch, I will definitely say no. or I’ll just ordered from them.

Day by day, all I learned was a new thing. It is ok for me if other staff would said something bad about me behind my back. Coz, I am in the process of learning, everything might happen, we never knew. As I was in my position of HR, I would said, it is soooo complicated being one. Imagine that you need to face different kind of problems and issues that arise like every day. Again, EVERYDAY. no wonder you might had a massive head ache due to this.

4.       Besides, among others the most important thing to focus on is whereby the welfare of all employees was protected and there should not be left behind. all I can see the manager must always and always ensure that all the employees follow the rules and regulation that set up by the company. thus, an effective communication with the supervisor from all department is a must to ensure all employees were guided all the way they were working for the company.

5.       A company are not eligible simply to fire their employee. no matter general worker or contracted worker, this is because, the employee has the right to fight or claim their eligibility on the reason they’re being terminated. that is why people said hiring is easier than firing. until now, what can I conclude from my view is that you can’t be too choosy in getting what you really want. people once said “if you don’t get what you like, like what you’ve got” . from that I could at least get rid of those negative ion and keep on accept the truth that I need to do it. I need to endure all this for future. At least for another few months.

Ask everyone, the answer would be just the same. “did you happy working in your workplace?” nayy or yayy? well, you have the answer. 

All the best to you guys too and don’t forget to pray for me! Bye J

'anak sulung'

Heyy all eldest child out there, you guys are rocks ! awesomenesss overloads I tell yahh :D

The story began when…..

One day, I was lying on my bed while enjoyed seeing my old photo album.i just found that album while cleaning and tidying my room. Most of the pictures were taken during my secondary school. I would say, it was the memories of my hostel life. Hehehe well I put a caption for each pictures so that I could easily recalled what is the story behind those pictures. Then there was one picture, me and my two best friends at Gua Tempurung, the caption was ‘with the Alongs’. Then I realized oh this caption was made because both of my friends were the eldest daughter in their family. then I continue looking at other picture with my mind keep recalling who else of my friends was the eldest daughter in their family.

Then I closed the album, get up from bed, went to my table and started looking for a pen and a piece of paper. ‘anak sulung’ was wrote in that paper. One by one name I wrote, starting from my childhood, secondary school, primary school, foundation and degree’s friends. then I stop writing becoz I can’t remembered any. Then I made the numbering for the list. It ends up with total of 25 persons of them all. I was quite surprised and can’t even imagine that I had a lot of my close friends that was a eldest son and daughter in their family. and the most surprisingly, they were the persons that I talk to and contact the most. during my foundation course for semester one and two. I was stayed at one apartment. there were about 13 of us in it. And 7 were the eldest daughter, which means it is almost half of us. This is such a beautiful and quite funny coincident I guess. and I am sure there must be more than this that I can think of. definitely.

So to make it clear, I try to listing down the name of my friend.

1)    Iffah nabilah
2)   Izwanny ridzwan
3)   Siti Aishah
4)   Ain Rafidah
5)   Nur Salwa
6)   Ainshamimi
7)   Niena Raymie
8)   Atikah kamari
9)   Hidayah azhar
10)Fatin izyan
11) Atikah yusni
13)Intan raihana
17)Siti nur Fatimah
18)Fatimah ahmad sawab
19)Izzati Elina
20)        Nazira S Raini
21)Nina Azamira
22)        Hafiz
23)        Bani
24)        Pakdin
25)        MZ

As I said before, I must miss some of my other eldest friends. This is all I manage recalled. Hehe

So, looks like I love being friend with eldest child huh ? my roommate, at hostel for first semester in degree was all eldest child. My roommate and housemate in degree were also mostly eldest child.

So maybe my future husband also would be the eldest son becoz he is already on the list. Bhahaha not funny? kbye.

Till then, assalamualaikum :)

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

dream #2


Again, this is the dream I had on the next day after the previous dream collection. This time, the dream was so real and I barely can feel every moment seems so real. All the heart ache and sadness I’d felt in that dream, I still can feel it after I woke in the morning.  

I open my eyes, and I was at the unfamiliar places. It was like a camp but we stayed at hostel. As what I remembered, there are a lots of my friends, which I knew from my school, foundation program and also from my recent degree program. We stayed at uitm but I can’t recall which uitm’s hostel we were at. I can’t clearly remember I spend time, chatting with my beloved adopted sisters and my friends. It was very enjoyable and I had a great feeling to have the opportunity to see their face and talk to them again. Yes, that’s what I felt at that moment. I haven’t seen them for ages I am so missing them.

Then, I’ve reached to the scene where we are about to check out from the hostel, unfortunately someone just claimed that the hostel was on fire. and as what I remembered it has quite large number of floor in that building and we were stayed at the most top of it. Then I can see the chaos and havoc situation where by everyone were trying to save their life. I can only see people running up and down the stair from the place I stand (nearby the stair). I can’t barely see the fire or smoke at all. But the people who just coming down end up looking very messy with wet clothes and black stripe as it was causes by the smoke. Then they I heard they claimed the fire was already extinguished but it end up took few lives. I was very shocked and started to help them to bring down the persons who died., there are few of them. That eagerly feeling to know who the person was, somehow make me very sad, because all in all I must recognize them because well, it’s a camp and I must know everyone even they don’t know about me.

Then, I heard one of the victims was my bestfriend. Yes, the one who always stay beside me like all the time. the worst feeling when I just met her last week, suddenly she is gone. But I’m not going to tell who she is. I was very shocked and terrible sad until I cried hardly but without any sobbing sound. I can felt my heart was very pain to hear that news. Then the moment I saw her dead body, I feel like don’t wanna see it. Her dead body was full with the dust, dirt and blood. I cry hardly but my heart aches much more painful than that.

Few moments later, I end up at the place of the scene that already cleaned up. It is about few weeks after. I went there with one of my classmate and I dunno why since then while seeing the place, I feel terribly sad. I can’t accept the truth that one of my beloved persons has gone. All the things that we’ve planned to do and place to go together suddenly came in mind. I feel bad for not fulfilling them.

During taking my bath, I was thinking, what actually the message from this dream. And I shouted hardly inside my heart “IT WAS JUST A DREAM, THANK GOD!!”

every happiness should also has the sadness, balance them”
“do not be too excited on something, who know it might end up with the most unexciting things happened”

till then, assalamualaikum...

Monday, October 7, 2013

dream #1

"Everyone Will Die."

Dream is the moment when the most important scene (climax) that we still remember evens us woke up the next morning.
The story begins..stay !

One day I woke up with a shocked and relieved feelings I’ve ever felt. I was at an anonymous house with few people that was terrifying scared face. I felt very weird because most of us were hiding behind the wall of the room. I can heard the noisy sound of screaming, shouting and else comes from everywhere. At first, I can’t blend what actually happens, until I heard a shooting and bombing sounds from the outside of the room. I realized oh my gosh, this is a war! Yes. my every confusion was answered immediately as suddenly there is someone who wear an unfamiliar dusty army uniform with a quite long rifle on arms, step into the room where we were at. The next few second, his friend also came in. they pointed their rifle to every one of us and ask few questions. At some point I was lifeless and there is a strong feeling came saying that I wanted to get out from that room so desperately! But, then I realized, I can’t.. they already found us. Now our lives are all in their hands. As I was the only lady inside that room, they asked me few questions but unfortunately I can’t recalled what it was. it seems like their targets is only girls, I was totally terrified until I can’t breathe properly.

The most memorizing moment when the rifle was placed right in front of my face and the man said that they wanted me dead. At that moment, I did not cry but had the most terrifying feeling that I can’t even imagine. I keep begging on him not to shoot me and at that time, I only remembered of Allah and my mom. I keep imagining what will be happened in future? All my sins I’ve done, did all my 'pahala' will save me from the hell’s fire to touch my skin? It all came at the same time. My heart keep on beating very fast, I really wanted it to end up quickly. i closed my eyes, and waiting for the shooting sound while still begging on him and shook my head for him to stop his action, my mouth keep saying the ‘kalimah syahadah’ as I might be died any second. The man yelled at me with the language that I can’t catch it, maybe because of the horrible feeling I had at that moment.

As I open my eyes, to see his face, one of his friend who stayed in front the door waiting for him since then, yelled at him and asked him to let me go. I can heard some noisy voice came from his walkie-talkie. They seem like need to back up their friends somewhere else thus they went off from that room immediately. That was the relieved feeling ever once you can finally breathe again from the emerge situation like that. I am very grateful and thankful to Allah for staying me alive. As soon as they gone, I quickly get close with the other persons in that house and they also felt relieved as I wasn’t shoot by them. All I can see is the smiling and that’s it, I looked around and i heard a nice melody and finally I found out it was my alarm clock. Again, thank god, it was only a DREAM.

While bathing, I kept thinking what is the sign of all this. People said, dream is only an imagination during sleep. But some also said it was a message towards the dreamer. As for me, what I can said, usually dream are opposite with the real life. For example if we dreamt of someone’s died, that’s means the person might have longer ages. Well, I am totally not sure because myth and truth are so hard to be trusted, haha one more thing, usually the person that came into our dream at night is the person whom we thinking of before sleep.this one, maybe right, most of the time, I’ve experience it. hehee

 I don’t know why, my mother’s face was the only person came into my mind, I thought maybe because I had loads of sins to her, well you know I am the most stubborn daughter among other siblings and I love to talk back to my mom. Now I feel bad and promise to self to always talk nicely to her, and also everyone else.

Moral of the story, we should never forget DEATH. Death is true and everyone will die, one day, which we will never know when and how. For me, maybe it was a sign from Allah to ensure I did not careless to perform my prayers. So people, always remind yourself of death and perform your prayers early.ok?

Apparently, all of the cast in this dream were Malays, and that was the most shocking facts. What is happening Malaysia? Keep peace. Till then, as-salam :) 

Saturday, October 5, 2013

new me? maybe..

Hey mr. blog…I haven’t been here for ages I guess. Here’s a short summary about my recent life. well, I am not studying (attend any class) anymore because I was now ‘working’ (internship program) in one of my favourite premises nearby my house. It was an awesome feeling to be experience such new experience and meeting new peoples as well. I guess I can blend with the environment quite well as I had an experience working before, it is just the situation and position is totally not the same. Seriously, working life will never be the same as student life. You might one time realize oh gosh, I miss studying. But I guess that moment hasn’t realized me yet. Maybe because I still did not feel the true colour of working life all the pressure, load of works, conflicts and so on. hey, I was just a trainee, what do you expect, right? Haha

I am still doing my thesis while working, this is really stressful because it wasn’t that simple that you might think. Lots of information and reading all those articles that you need to come out with as long as it was related to your subject matter. I pray every day that everything will be just fine and Allah will smooth my journey to end this degree course with a flying colour result. Insyaallah, amiin.

my family? (even you did not asked). They’re doing well. Now I had 3 lil cute nieces and 2 handsome nephew that I was always excited to meet them J  it seems like a routine every Friday to ask my sisters and brothers whether they will be back or not. Hurmm how about myself? For sure I was doing good and getting much ‘healthier’ day by day. (maknanya makin gemoklah) hahaha -_____-‘ seriously in most thing I’ve done, but this matter: I am give up. It was not because I never try, but it keeps failed until I can’t bear with it anymore. Sounds tough huh ? yes it was. You will never know it unless you’re in my shoes. believe me. HOWEVER, I was still very happy with myself and I believe that as long I did not disturbs other people’s life, so..who cares about the appearance rite ? 

talking about who cares, there was one young man, named S. Hafiz was trying to win my heart, but for me he will never success. I don’t know why,  it seems like I was never ready for another person to come into my life besides family and friends. As friend it’s okay he already be one but to be more than that, I wasn’t expect for anything more. please.maybe I was too overprotected as I did not want to get hurt again coz I really know how it feels, when people ruined your trust and broke their promises, just like that. It was really painful because it was a wound that you can never see the scars. So now I just believe in Allah. If the faith said, someone is there waiting for me in future, why should I let go right? Now, I just follow the flow.

what else did i miss? i'll stop here. till then, as-salam :)

same people different stories

Friday, May 31, 2013

darah daging #2

hai. Assalamualaikum..bila sy menjengah ke sini maknanya sy bosan tahap gaban and I finally gave up with my works. not yet with my life. bahaya tu kalo give up with the life kan. Huhu so what’s the story huh ? diam je. dan baca.

Mak Ayah.
The most important persons in life. without them I will never be this grown up girls and almost being a lady or wife or a mother. maybe? err -.-‘ ingat ayat ni. amaran ni. sila ingat tau. “we’re busy growing up but don’t forget our parents also busy getting old” hmm macam2 bermain di minda when reading those sentence. Ok ini cerita dia..

Selasa, we went to Ipoh to fetch Eda from her easy add math camp kat Intergop. then dalam plan nak ke jusco sebab nak habiskan baucer buku farah kt popular *mcm la tak boleh beli kt tmpat lain kan* sampai je kat aeon terus meluru ke popular..mak ayah masuk sekali.tapi sekejap je.tgk2 buku, suh Farah bayarkan then mereka hilang keluar dr popular. Bila keluar tgk2 depa tgh duduk kt kerusi.kesian tggu kteorg lama.mimik muka pun mcm da bosan. Then pusing2 kedai.Eda nak cari kasut n nak masuk music store. dah dapat ape yg die nak, masuk jusco nak cari barang lain pulak. I thought mereka nak cari sendiri but lastly end up suh aku carikan. Mak cakap, dah abis ke, pi la bayar cepat, penat lah.seriusly, asenye sekejap je duk pusing2 dlm tu, hati aku terdetik, eh da penat ke. but frankly speaking kaki aku pun da lenguh. sebab kena tampung berat badan berlebihan ni. hahahaha

dalam kereta, aku perasan dua benda, kalo dulu pi jusco if adik ajak pi main boling then mak ayah akan setuju tp kali ni, mak tak bagi. Second, before this jalan la mane2 shopping mall pun at least mesti spend hours inside it. Tapi skrg, sekejapnya. on the way balik, singgah solat kat kampar.sepanjang perjalanan dr ipoh ke kampar aku tido. panas gila dlm kereta,dan mengantuk sgt.then kat masjid for the FIRST time aku rasa nak tidur situ lepas solat.huh tanpa dipinta aku lelap sekejap sementara tggu yg lain selesai solat sebab aku org first masuk.ya Allah, tak pernah2 tidur masa singgah solat. then aku sedar, oh sebelah aku ade mak ngan adik2. mak rehat2 adik2 main game kt hp.molek benor dlm masjid -.-' dan suprisingly ayah pun tidur sbb mmg ayah mengantuk masa drive td. and and kiteorg bertapa kat situ lebih sejam kot. so unusual things for me.huhuu betol ini serius, 22 tahun ni selalu ulang alik ipoh-rumah-ipoh memang tak pernah berhenti rehat lama2 camtu. lainla kalo singgah makan. lagi  pun, come on rumah-ipoh 2 jam je kot. no need to rest la kan.huhu
memang syok lah dpt rest time tgh penat n panas. again, i realized mak ayah da tak larat kot. 

aku selalu imagine, tingginye kesabaran mak. bayangkan mak penat2 balik keje, dari pukul 7 pg sampai pukul 5 ptg. dahla drive sendiri sekolah jauh then sampai rumah tgk rumah bersepah, dapur berterabur. mak tak marah cuma membebel je.kalau aku la kat tempat mak, silap2 an terbang melayang pinggan mangkuk aku kerjakan anak aku.huhu tapi mak tak. aku rasa mak dah penat. penat nak marah2.penat nak lentur buluh yang dah jadi buluh tua ni. kteorang sume dah besar. dah matang, patut tahu mana tanggungjawab mana yg patut didahulukan. cuma kteorg je yang membabi buta tak endahkan semua tu dan pentingkan hal duniawi semata2.hurmm

apakah motip aku tulis semua ini? motip dia, aku nak cuba sedaya upaya hargai mereka selagi mereka ada depan mata. insyaAllah..hari tu Farah turun kat Lumut.aku da offer kt farah suh turun tempat aku so nnti boleh balik rumah sama2.tapi last minute tak jadi, mak ayah nak amek dia kat lumut tu, then sanggup pi SI utk amek aku. terkedu. lagi satu,time nak balik seri iskandar pun aku tak kisah kot kalo balik sendiri, but finally akan end up mak ayah nak hantarkan.sampai sanggup balik keje awal.hmm serba salah tapi mungkin mereka sayang :')

pernah sekali tu terdengar mak sembang dgn ayah..nak buat rumah kecik kat mane2.mak cakap "nanti bila anak2 da besar mana tahu berebut rumah yg sedia ada tu pehtu halau kite kan bang." ya Allah, sebak hati dengar mak cakap camtu.tergamam.the reason mak nak adik ade depan mata, mak selalu sebut adik boleh kawankan mak. aku berharap sangat untuk masa akan datang, aku mampu nak jaga mak ayah macam mana mereka sabar jaga aku yang degil dan suka memberontak ni. aamiin.

dear Allah, my parents have sacrifices like a lot to me. I love them so so so much. please Allah, take care and protect them no matter in what condition they are. seriously aku tak punya apa2 untuk balas balik semuanya. duit tak ada belajar pun tak pandai.shame on me. tak ada apa nak dibanggakan. nothing. setakat ni hanya mampu berbakti untuk uruskan kerja2 rumah. but yet, still not enough. not enough man.till then, assalamualaikum *lap2 air mata* :')

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

darah daging #1


hanya insan bertuah yang dipilih Allah berpeluang ada adik. untuk umur aku yang dah nak masuk 22 ni, masih ada adik kecik lagi. dia masih dibawa term ‘kecik’ sebab dia belum baligh, baru darjah 4. al-quran pun masih dlm proses nak khatam. dan masih tidur dgn sape2 dia nak. termasuk la mencelah antara mak n ayah. yeah, that’s true. however, as he grows up with all of us which have different mindset and perception as well as the way we bring ourselves, seems like he (adik) also tends to be a grown up boy who knows how to act and behave with the surrounding. yeah, dia matang sebelum umur. he must be a good observer. haha

pernah satu hari, aku termarah dia sebab dia minta aku buatkan something coz dia lapar which I can’t recall what it is. and out of control aku marah dia, mcm2 ragam n memilih tanak makan ape yg aku masak. aku marah depan mak.mak tak cakap ape pun. aku bebel je actually.. then dia pandang mak. n mak pun paham n buatkan ape yg die mintak. which actually at the first point lepas aku mrh tu dia redha je, tak kisah pun kalo x dpt ape yg die nak. baru hari ni aku sedar perkara tu.

ade sekali tu, on our way back to hometown from KL. kteorg stop by kt stesen minyak. as usual dia suka beli mountain dew, wajib beli kalau singgah isi minyak. time tu without seeing ape die nak amik, pesan siap2 ‘adik, da ujung bulan ni bajet akak lari tau..’ then suddenly dia terus ckp, nak air mineral tu. baru ari ni jugak aku sedar, memahami betul budak ni. mungkin kterog da di treat tak semua benda kami nak kami boleh dapat. mostly atas usaha sendiri. yes. I get my own phone pun atas hasil menabung dlm bank time sekolah dulu. lepas keluar sume duit dlm bank tu and pindah ke bank lain, terus smpai skrg x isi2 dah. da mati pun acc bank tu. hahaha

saje tanye mak, tanak anta adik masuk sekolah asrama ke? senang je mak jawab “biarla adik kawankan mak kat rumah”..betul jugak tu at least mak ade org boleh diharap nak minta tolong. ke kedai ke bg kucing makan ke..kan kan.aku pun slalu buli dia suh pi kedai belanja aiskrim.huhu and frankly speaking I hate seeing him growing up too fast. ade satu mase tu, time blaja kat Kuantan, balik jarang2. so bila balik gurau2 dgn dia tiba2 dia terpukul aku. ganas betul. habis lebam tgn aku dia buat. time tu baru aku sedar, dia dah besar. bila nampak aku balik da tak excited mcm dulu, mesti cakap “yeye ina balik”..but today “huh balik ke..” *sambil buat muka annoying. lepas tu kalau aku meniarap depan tv or kat mane2 la. dia suka hempap aku. tapi sekarang bile dia buat aku terus naik angin, sebab dia dah berat. sesak nafas kalau die baring atas aku.

bila malam, mak selalu marah die kalau die sebok nak menyempit kat bilik mak. mak mesti suruh die tido dgn aku sebab dia penakut. nak pegi dapur pun mesti berteman. but now, dah lain. semalam dia merajuk dgn mak, sedih benor tgknye. menangis tutup muka dgn bantal. merajuk sebab mak tak bagi ikut abg dia (ijat) balik KL dengan kakak n abg ipar. ye la bila cuti sekolah je mesti ijat ikut balik kl. kali ni khidmat ijat mmg diperlukan sbb nak tolong depa pindah rumah. lepas ni tak duk bukit jalil dah. back to adik, mase die tgh sedih2 tu saje je nak hiburkan hati dia, aku tgh wat keje print2 article and report, then dpt satu idea lipat kertas bentuk roket n write something on it. roket kertas yg bertulis “jgnla sedih2 adik, nak megi tak? akak masakkan ok?” pun terbang dgn jayanya depan die. lepas campak roket tu aku trus blah pegi dapur so tak tahulah die bace ke tak time tu. bile pegi ruang tamu balik tgk he is not there. rupanya dlm bilik mak. then, mak kuar. dgn die. pegi dapur. I dunno die nak ape. lepas tu pg ruang tamu n terbaring mcm tadi semule. nampaknya dia takde selera nak makan. it’s getting late and I am thirsty, aku buat milo. so instead of masak megi kesukaan adik, aku buatkan milo ais tabur terbaik dr ladang utk dia. dan diri sendiri. nampak mcm dia dah ok tak nangis merengek mcm tadi.and I’m glad. bile dah tgh malam, mak kuar bilik cek lampu sume pesan kat adik. “adik tido mane? tido dgn ina la ye” macam biase aku mmg slalu tido kat ruang tamu. atas sofa feveret tu. sejuk. tapi most of the time dgn budak tu la.semak.haha

esoknya mungkin nak tebus keinginan makan megi semalam die masak sendiri megi style die. time tu aku pun tgh masak, goring ayam celup tepung. aku buh telur kuning dlm megi die yg tgh membuak dlm kuali. die marah n kuarkan telur yg da masak tu. hahaha saje cari pasal an.

well, enough said. I’m glad coz I have a little brother at this age. thank you Allah for this opportunity. ade sesetengah my friend yg aku tatau pun depe ade adik..sebab jarang cerita and ade sesetengah tu pulak rapat gila sampai adik tu act mcm sorang abg. always protect and bebel kt dia. and as for me. ade batas la jugak nak bergurau tu kan. jgn sampai hilang hormat antara satu sama lain sudah. bg aku da biase dah kene bahan gemok badak debab n seumpamanya dgn budak2 ni. I assume that as a joke je. tak ambik hati pun. konon. puii hehehh

err kenapa aku citer sume ni? supaya bila aku dah tua nanti aku boleh baca balik and realized that I have an awesome youngest brother in life. hehh
time flies very fast. you won’t realized how big your brother have been until your mom won’t let you sleep with him anymore. and until you realized he is brighter and intelligence than you. hee I will definitely miss my childhood memories. till then. as-salam J

Thursday, February 28, 2013

not yet.

I'm a girl not yet a woman
I'm 21 not yet 22 years old
I'm a student not yet graduated
I'm a worker not yet a boss
I'm single not yet being couple
I'm a daughter not yet help my folks
I'm a lover not yet a wife
I am who I am.

who ever you are, just rise and shine.
keep calm, stay positive and keep smiling :)

Sunday, February 17, 2013


Secara perlahan pintu bilik mak ayah dikuak. Kelihatan mak sendirian sedang bermain game treasure kegemarannya. Melihatnya bersendirian kulabuhkan badanku di sebelah pembaringan wanita pertengahan 50-an itu. Dengan mesra ku sapanya..
Sweet: mak, mak reti potong rambut kan..
Mak: reti lah.
Sweet: kalau mak potong rambut sweet boleh ke?
Mak: boleh je. Rambut ayah tu mak potong elok je.
Sweet: *sambil gelak-gelak manja* ok tapi ade ke gunting? Mak potong la rambut sweet. Tak pun mak bagi sepuluh ringgit kat sweet, potong kat kedai je. hehehe
Mak: gunting ade je. Susah sangat pergi je la kedai..
Sweet: haha ok mak bagi la duit. Yakin sikit nak potong rambut *sambil berlalu secara gedik main2 rambut dan keluar dari bilik tersebut*
Dalam hati, yes nampaknya taktik dah berjaya :p
dan esoknya mak beri lima belas ringgit kepada Sweet.

Selalu mcm mane cara nak mintak duit? Mesti terus direct. kan kan ?  Ayah, nak duit nak beli itu ini itu ini. Haaa tanpa bertanya dulu boleh ke tak. Tak manis tu. Itu seolah2 memberi arahan untuk mereka turuti apa yg kita minta. Memang la dah biasa cara begitu tapi apa salahnya minta secara lemah lembut bersopan santun dan jangan terlalu memaksa. Tentu2nya si pemberi bermurah hati nak bagi. Terdetik benda ni bila tengah basuh pinggan tadi sebab fikiran menerewang, rasa macam homesick dan rindu gila dekat mak ;(

Assalamualaikum. Okbaii ;p
the most question I  wanna ask but never will be.
who am I to you ?

15 Feb 2013

olla ! selamat petang. seperti yg digembar-gemburkan bahawa result bagi semester empat bakal diumumkan awal dari tarikh awal yg diberi..semua student konfirmlah cuak kan. but as for me..mungkin Allah sayangkan aku. demam teruk 3 hari. tapi tu semua tak menghalang aku dari menjadi seorang makcik yg bertanggungjawab kepada anak buah aku seperti yg dimintalah. hahaha ayat poyo gilaa 

dalam hati terdetik, sama ada Allah nak kurangkan dosa aku atau ini balasan atas dosa2 aku. tahu tak demam tu seksa? kepala konfirm lah sakit pening2 lalat. suhu badan turun naik ikut cuaca sekeliling. lagi sejuk suhu bilik lagi panas lah badan guwe ni. nak2 kalau time ambil wuduk. menggigil. mandi sekali je sehari sebab memang menggigil sejuk sampai ke tulang sumsum. *tulang sumsum ? seriously -_-' bile sujud rasa sakit sgt kt kepala dan jugak leher. sebab ulser. bila baca doa, nafas tu mak aih panas bukan main, risau2 je kot2 terkeluar darah dari hidung *overnya* ulser tu besar gabak dekat tekak siap bengkak. makan pun kurang selera sbb nak telan sakit. sampai abang gua tegur "aik, kejapnye makan.lek ah banyak lagi ni. selalu kat rumah cepat je habiskan." aku hanya mampu tersenyum. dlm hati cakap "i diet lah" *konon* hari keempat dah ok sikit sebab malam tu tidur dlm kepanasan dan badan berpeluh gila. so itu tanda demam dah kebah. cuma tekak je masih sakit. nasib baiklah ade kakak. die macam faham. bila nampak kite pakai sweater n stokin dia tanya demam ke and i replied taklah sejuk je. taknak risaukan die. bila Aish nangis n i'm not beside him, kakak tolong tengokkan padahal anak dia pun berjaga juga.

entah kenapa sem ni dah set kat mind nak cek result at after 3 pm. and seriously tak rasa cuak barang sedikit pun. pelik dgn diri sendiri. mungkin betullah kata org, keadaan sekeliling sebenanrya yg paling mempengaruhi fikiran, perasaan dan emosi kita. buktinya? aku hanya akan rasa sikit cuak ataupun risau bila aku mengadap twitter. bila aku tutup laptop dan menjalani hari2 ku seperti biasa *padahal sakit masa tu* aku definitely ok and tak fikir pasal result pun. so orang sekeliling or lebih tepat lagi yg duk dalam twitter or facebook tu yg main psychology much. huhuu jadi hari Jumaat yg indah itu, bangun2 tidur sampai ke tengah hari sampai lah ke pukul 3 memang tak online langsung. mujurlah ada tetamu, kak Una datang so tak lah boring, boleh borak2.hehew 

dalam pukul 3 macam tu Kak Una minta diri so ikut lah iring dia sampai ke visitors bays. melangkah je masuk ke rumah semula rasa excited dan gemuruh tu dah datang. terus on laptop dan log in email. malangnya try seratus lima puluh juta kali tak boleh log in jugak. last2 email kena block. macam harommm. ape masalah entah. then terfikir nak log in student portal. *tak suka tgk result kt sp sebenarnya* bile log in......deymmm 

"keputusan peperiksaan anda telah disekat kerana anda tidak melengkapkan SUFO..blablabla" *lebih kurang mcm tu la ayat yg tertera..dgn serta merta aku menjerit sehingga kakak kat sebelah melatah. kah3. b*d*h mcm mana aku boleh tak isi. setahu aku aku dah isi semua dengan fatin kat bilik dia. *ingat lagi tu haha* dgn segera isi SUFO. oh ade dua subject tak isi. HRD dan LAW. cehh. lepas isi, try log out dan log in semula. malangnya masih belum diproses. ok takpe2 kita tutup dululah lah laptop ni. gua pun buat tak tahu je tengok tb, makan nasik berlagak cool padahal risau terus mesej semorang tanya nak kena call uitm ke tak. hahah then semua pun jawab tak tahu, try lah call. ohh memang tidak, malas lah nak call. 

selepas beberapa purnama, gua try buat benda yg sama sambil mulut bace lah ape yg patut disaat2 akhir ni semoga Allah kurniakan rezeki dan permudahkan segala urusan.huhu log in dengan cermat dan tadaaa tanpa segan silu result gua terus terjojol keluar *over* huh tak tengok lama, tengok huruf LU semua, tengok pointer then terus pangkah tab. fuhh syukur, hehehe dah tu je nak citer. kecoh kan ;p

sebenarnya bukan nak mengeluh sebab sakit dan dihadapkan situasi begini cuma kite kena la sentiasa bersedia utk hadapi ape je yg bakal datang kat kite. dan saya dah lame tak demam, last masa cuti sem lepas masa bulan puasa I balik Taiping, mak jaga tau. hehe dan mungkin sebab tu macam terkejut rasa badan gemok ni haa.haha 
-pernah dengar tak "hidup tak selalunya indah langit tak selalu cerah" "kusangka panas sampai ke petang, blablabla" haa ade la tu kaitannye kan huhu 

on 14 feb, first love a.k.a first ex tetiba call. 
jangan harap aku nak angkat. okbaii

Friday, February 8, 2013

new comers..

bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahiiim...
hai assalamualaikum. setelah lama tidak menjengah ke mari akhirnya guwe muncul lagi.hehe

thanks to my sis as i got inspiration and spirit to get back to my blog when i saw her typing her blog post. then i really miss my writing hobby, so I get here and here i am *ini semua poyooo* heheh ok, as the titled is "new comers" it is actually referring to my new nephews and nieces. so i guess i was the luckiest girl on earth as i am able to get 2 nieces and a nephew on the quite same time. this is the result of the triplets wedding early in february last year. so end of the year one by one of my sister and sister in law confess that they're pregnant. happy and excited. that's the only feeling can be described.why ? becoz i can't wait to know the babies' gender and how is the combination faces of my siblings and their spouse. hehehe

dalam kesibukan menelaah pelajaran dan mengharungi dunia kehidupan sebagai seorang gadis *gadis ke?* yang masih mencari erti sebenar kehidupan, perubahan perkenbangan dalam family tetap diterima dengan hati gumbira. meskipun seringkali menjadi orang terakhir yg akan mendapat sebarang berita dari keluarga meski yg baik ataupun yang buruk. sedih, terkilan tapi tak mengapa itu hanya mainan perasaan yg hanya akan menambah burukkan keadaan jika dilayankan :)
 seriously tak jangka masa begitu pantas berlalu. tanpa sedar kita semakin menambah usia, cara pemikiran juga semakin berbeza. mengikut faktor usia, semakin matang *ececehh matang ker ;p* 

menjangkau usia 21 *masih belum masuk 22 ok* alhamdulillah bersyukur sangat sebab diberi peluang melalui pelbagai pengalaman dan cabaran hidup yg InsyaAllah suatu hari nanti berguna buat diri ini...tanpa segan silu, disini guwa nak dedahkan identiti family gua yg sebenarnya haha *ayat poyo*..bukan ape ade juga beberapa sahabat terdekat yang bertanya berapa org abang kakak guwa yg dah berkahwin, berapa org yang da ada anak ? mereka seringkali konfius sebab adik-beradik guwa 'sikit' sangat. hehew 

as i was too busy, i have postpone and postpone my entry about the triplets wedding on early last february. damn me, until now i did not finish those entry. so with this valuable time and precious moment i got, i used it to update the entry. 

 this is the wedding of my sister (the red one) and my only twins brother (the black n gold one)
where am I ? of course behind the camera -___-"

my first brother and his spouse- bro Khairul Faizi n sis Intan Zarina..
selepas beberapa minggu bernikah, abang announce kak Intan dah pregnant. kiranya bunting pelamin la ni. rezeki Allah nak bagi. alhamdulillah, sembilan bulan berlalu, lahirlah zuriat perempuan merangkap cucu kedua bagi tokmak dan tok ayah..diberi nama Nur Insyirah Humaira
3 months cyra.debabnyaa :)
latest cyra with mama.semangat betul badan budak ni. jgn jadi mcm aunty ni sudahla ye.
mak cakap cyra bakal jd ketua dlm geng cousin2 die nanti. muke gangsta dah ade tuu hahaha

my second sister with le beloved husband..sis Fareha and bro Zukhiri khafifi..
haaa yang ni lepas beberapa bulan dapat berita kakak pregnant. syukurlah rezeki Allah nak bagi terima lah seadanya meskipun awal2 tu kakak alah teruk dan ada sebab2 lain yg memaksa akak utk berehat dari bekerja..hujung bulan 11 lahirlah seorang lagi baby perempuan juga yg diberi nama Nur Afsyar Farhyn..
i'd love to call her afsyar at the first place but then they decided to call her farhyn or payinn. hai comel :)

my second brother and his wife..bro Fatkhul Aarif n kak Hafinaz Hashim
mereka berkenalan sejak zaman diploma lagi sama2 bekerja dalam bidang yg sama iaitu grafik designer. lebih kurang dua minggu lepas berita kak reha pregnant, aku dapat call dari Odah (my sister) yang kak Enaz pregnant jugak.the day before, baru guwa call die tanye takde perkembangan terbaru ke.hehew alhamdulillah rezeki dari Allah meskipun lambat tetap adaa..kan :) the best news we got when they manage to give the first baby boy for our family especially for tokmak n tokayah...superhero yg hensem dan macho ni diberi nama Aisy Hadif..suara nangis dia, seksi you know, hehew

majlis berendoi aisy hari tu..kakak zahraa buaikan die laa :)

here they are..altogether with kakak zahraa :)
 si gangsta cyra meragam eh. huhuh
cucu first mak ayah, zahraa..laju lah die berlari pasni sebab da dapat kaki..
 ehem2 die nak dapat adik baru la raya nanti hehehe
3 serangkai...kadang2 or jarang2 happen ? hehe
I wish my wed would be like this too..kongsi pelamin dgn kakak, tak pun adik. insyaAllah..kalau ada jodoh dan rezeki kan heheh ;D

haaa setakat ni ramai ni lah family guwa..dengarnya permohonan emak utk pindah semula sekolah daerah hilir perak diluluskan cuma belum dapat surat. mudah-mudahan betullah berita yg didengar ni..tak syok kot tiap hujung minggu je dpt jumpa emak dan adik2..baiklah, sampai sini dulu deh.
moga Allah sentiasa merahmati saya dan anda semua ya..assalamualaikum :)

-si gemok-